[Sexual Healing] Long Distance Love

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” -William Shakespeare

This famous Shakespearean mantra is the comfort statement for those who find themselves in a long distance relationship. Though, to what extent of distance can this concept hold true? Can love prevail throughout thousands of miles over extended periods of time? The romantic will say “Yes, no distance can terminate a true love”; while the idealist will claim that eventually distance will cause a relationship to deteriorate.

As a member of the Confederation of Long Distance Relationships, (which doesn’t actually exist) I have learned through experience how to keep the adhesive between partners intact throughout the lines of longitude and latitude. The first question you must ask yourself being: “Is this person worth it?” It is not easy relying on Skype and seldom visits to keep a relationship alive, especially while attending a school with such beautiful people. (We are quite the sexy raft of otters!) This is why it is crucial to assess your dedication to this person before you commit yourself to a long distance relationship.

Ok, you’re in love, beautiful. Everything should go smoothly from here on out, right? Perhaps, if both partners hold a mutual trust and loyalty. To make it work, you have to withhold a sense of trust so strong it is largely unspoken of. If there is any doubt that the partner is loyal…it could grow into a paranoid frenzy that is not even remotely irrational. Just because your phone was dead for several hours, doesn’t mean you were fucking
your classmate… But I digress.

For such a relationship to thrive, both partners need to understand they are individuals with separate lives and schedules, which are sometimes conflicting with each other. It is natural to reach out with figurative cellophane in a false attempt to secure your loved one with excessive texts and the like. Though, becoming overly clingy is not conducive to a healthy relationship.

If the love is authentic, the dynamic of the relationship really does not have to change all too much. What has to be established, however, is a coordinated schedule so you can talk on the phone or Skype when you are both free. (Trust me, Skype sex is awesome) With trust and rationale, anything is possible. So, does Shakespeare’s quote hold true today? Depends… are you dedicated enough?

—Justin

Ah, long distance relationships. One of the most talked about and controversial relationship types. Many people choose to give it a shot and when doing so they immediately begin to wonder if they made the right decision or not. A distant relationship has just as much of a chance to succeed as any other relationship. Any relationship involves effort in communication, sacrifice, and understanding. A heavily weighted difference in long distance relationships is it takes away your ability to see each other frequently along with the choice of being intimate whenever you desire. Not to mention, major trust is required on both ends. So what is a couple to do when they decide to give it a go?

Step 1: Make an agreement of expectations and commitment levels. Be clear that neither of you will be dating anyone else and share what each of you is willing to give and take.

Step 2: “Technology has come a long way!” Take advantage of all there is out there for you to connect with each other. That includes the use of video calls, e-mailing, texting, and basic phone calls. You should indulge in these activitiesevery day.

Step 3: Take advantage of living apart and growing individually. A lot of couples spend all their free time together but now there is more time for family and friends. Most importantly, being apart gives you the pleasure and true excitement of seeing your partner after a long absence.

Step 4: Remember, you are still in a relationship! You have to be there for your partner even if you cannot be physically. Be sure to keep the love alive by planning visits, being positive, and talking about your future together. Avoid jealously and be trusting. There is no reason to destroy all you have both worked for by poisoning yourselves with drama. Your partner will continue to have a social life, and so should you. So have fun and be happy. Everyone is worthy of trust until proven otherwise.

Whether you are only an hour apart or 1,000 miles apart, you have entered a long distance relationship! Not everyone is capable of sustaining these relationships and that’s okay, it is not for everyone. You have to decide for yourself if “love knows no distance,” or not.

—Jurija