[Sexual Healing] Moving In Together

His

The beginning of relationships can be so easy. At first, it’s fireworks, laughing, dating, sex, cuddling, more sex, long walks, even more sex, Eskimo kisses, double dating, which is commonly followed by group sex (just kidding… or am I?). Eventually it gets to a point where you don’t live with your partner, but you are sleeping in the same bed every night. Who doesn’t like the sound of that, right? *Stereotypical sex grin and eyebrow raise* That is where the true fun begins… Or so one may think.

Sleeping in the same bed can usually lead to one thing and one thing alone – living together. That is when a couple can truly see what they are made of. The cute “I miss you :)” texts and “haven’t seen you, have to have you” moments fly right out the window (and don’t try and shut the window, they will still find a way out, sincerest apologies). When you live with a spouse, there is not a thing you do not learn about them – good and bad, unfortunately. Men will be men as women will be women. It is the nature of our species. As a male, there are certain things I can tell you that most of us have in common.

We take short showers and long poops. The toilet seat belongs up (don’t ask us to put it down, it’s more convenient that way and we are lazy). We clean because we have to, not because we want to. And finally, we don’t want to talk about our feelings, especially after sex (oh sex, haven’t heard that word in a while, huh? Well you won’t when you live with together either).
I’m sure there are a lot of women (even men) that may have qualms with these things. Does that mean that men are the bane of live-in relationships? Not quite. Women have their ways of getting under our skin as well (*achem* nagging).

It is easy to begin to suffocate when beginning to live with your spouse. But “love conquers all” and true love will find a way to prevail even in the darkest of times (though try not to shatter anything expensive). So why is sharing a refrigerator harder than sharing a bed at night? Well that is easy. Because the outcome grants a reward far greater than the risk—to be lucky enough to find the person you are meant to spend your life with.

Hers

Making the big move seems like a good idea at the time. And why not? You two spend all your available time together, you practically have reserved closet space at the other’s place anyway, and you are tired of making that long walk of shame down the driveway every morning. Besides, moving in together means split rent, and incredibly kinky, outrageously frequent sex, right? WRONG. The naked truth is that “playing house” is not some extended version of your kinky role-playing fantasy; it is more like a searing reality bitch slap.

Sure, there is always the initial honeymoon phase. Nothing says “do me now!” quite like a room full of brand new furniture; and honestly, those walls would beg to be violated, if walls could talk. Still, there are only so many surfaces to christen before sex on the daily settles into some mundane “twice-a-week” routine.

At the same time, be prepared to chuck whatever illusions you may have developed regarding your personal dreamboat out the window. The hot girl in a miniskirt and perfectly windblown hair…yeah, say goodbye to her! Say hello to sweatpants and facial masks. And Prince Charming? He may very well turn back into a beer-guzzling, belching toad faster than you can say “stroke of midnight.”

Another pitfall of cohabitation: chores. The sexy over-sized t-shirt you borrowed, the lace pair of panties you left on the floor, even the pillowcase where you left your scent…are suddenly tomorrow’s dirty laundry (no pun intended).

Okay enough, Negative Nancy. How do you keep the dreamboat a rockin’?

For starters, it is best that you each have somewhere to go for personal space, a “cave” of sorts. Just because you live together does not mean you are required to spend of every waking minute of every day with each other. A small escape even to another end of the apartment/house once in awhile may help to ease any tension or frustration you may be feeling towards your partner.

Secondly, be up front with each other: your pet peeves, your turn-ons, turn-offs. Moving in together is a huge step, and will obviously take some time to adjust. Try to ease into each other’s living habits rather than going full throttle with the left-up toilet seat or clumps of hair down the drain.

And finally, mix it up! Whether it is a new set of lingerie, a different position, or even just a graphic discussion of your wildest fantasies, do not be afraid to get creative!

So play it smart, and that searing reality bitch slap just might be lessened to a playful slap. The kind you really enjoy.