[Sexual Healing] Their Folks Do Not Like You

It is difficult to “meet the parents” for the first time. My Dad had a tradition that makes more and more sense as I get older. Whenever I would bring a boy home, he would show him his knives. And swords. And the mace he kept in the living room.

My dad has upward of 70 different knives and swords, and that number keeps growing. If said boy I brought over was afraid of them, we often never lasted more than a week. It was always because they were terrified of my father. One who found them incredibly interesting was a born again Christian. Seeing as how my family is not religious, my parents were NOT happy. But I thought there was something special there, so I pursued him. I researched his religion. I bought a bible and read it. I found an old gold cross that was given to me when I was a child and wore it. This was a whole new side of me, and I thought I liked it. It turns out, I really just liked him.

Sometimes parents know what is best for you, but they want you to fail so that you can have that experience. And other times, they know what is best for you, and will force it upon you like a newtons cradle. Over and over again. This was one of those cases. This came up when I told them I was going to church with him. They didn’t want to hear it, but I went anyways. They told me my view of him would be skewed. I left before they could tell me not to. I came home that night crying. I had not “found the lord”, but instead, found that I was INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE there. With him and his friends. When you’re expected to fit in somewhere immediately, too much pressure is put on you to conform, something I try never to do. I learned a lot about him through his friends. Something my parents were able to sense, I just never wanted to see. I should have listened to my them. Their response?

“Told ya so...”

When my now husband, then boyfriend, came over for the first time, he passed the sword test. He fit into my family like a glove, and I never had to change a thing. Listen to your parents advice. After all, it’s up to you what you do with it.

—Aubrey Madrigal

I am sitting here in this room. Why is my boyfriends mom looking at me like that? Why did she call me a “her” and call the dog by his name? I have a name, what is her problem? Was I not supposed to ask her how her day was?

Have you ever been in relationship where your significant other has been the best person in your life only to find out that they are nothing like their parents? Did the animosity towards you quickly become a problem from the movie Meet the Parents.

If not some, most have been in this type of situation there are a few ways you can handle it. One way to solve the problem is by choosing to be nice and gritting your teeth for the one you love or you can choose option number two and be a jerk right back to them because everyone deserves basic respect. Or you can just avoid them all cost. Who wants to be with bitter old parents anyways?

One thing you can do it try to find some common ground with the parents and be very personable to try and find out exactly what is the problem they have with you. More than likely it is just a huge misunderstanding that can be solved. Most likely they just had many prejudgments about you and they have failed to realize that you are someone very important to their child.

If being nice and asking your significant other’s parents why they don’t like you doesn’t help, then maybe you will be able to just avoid them. If you have put in all your effort to try and create a healthy environment and they do not comply then you should do your best to keep you and your significant other happy.

If you do not break up with your significant other because of this parental dislike, you must take into consideration that this is something you will be dealing with for the rest of your life. It can and will always create never ending tension until all contact is lost between the parents of your significant other or sadly you.

In life there are many tough decisions to make but the most important one is to keep yourself happy and healthy. If you and your significant other only need each other to be happy and live in a positive environment then I say to hell with the parents, you only get only life to live and you shouldn’t live it by anyone else’s rules.

—Brittany Harden